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[Saturday
September 25th, 2004
2:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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existentialism on prom night - straylight run |
] |
i quit with these places. mainly this and opendiary. but mainly opendiary since it blew up. this place isn't sooooo bad, but i never use it anyways.
so long story short, i gots me a xanga. http://www.xanga.com/this_delicate_balance check it. or don't, s'all gravy.
peaceee
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[Monday
August 23rd, 2004
6:19pm] |
updating journal! weeee.
back from canadia. big thumbs down to that one.
school starts soon and i'm scared.
no more chem 2 though! werd. :)
must read summer reading books. MUST.
oh goodness..............save me.
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| 3 months = forever. |
[Monday
July 19th, 2004
11:40pm] |
i'll hand myself over for you.
i love you so much, honestly. i don't want or need anything else.
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| slightly bruised and broken. |
[Friday
July 9th, 2004
10:18am] |
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to tell you the truth - i'm not even sure what's happening. i don't know what's going on and certain things are killing me.
i don't even know what to freaking say. i can't explain anything because i don't even fucking know.
you're right - it's how they deal with things. why the hell can't i figure out how to explain everything to them? or anything at all....
i think i was right, smothering. bothering. annoying. i can't help but feel i'm pushing this away and it is beyond tearing me apart.
how can i possibly leave this alone when i can't live without you?
but for now i'll just hold the tears in, grow up, and accept the fact that i make things worse. i know it will be better to figure things out without me, which is why i won't constantly smother you anymore.
( you ARE my only one. )
i'm not sure what to do.
I'm sick and sunk and I blame myself,
cause I make things hard and you were just trying to help.
I got no gas.
Winding out my gears.
This is one more day on the verge of tears.
And now my head hurts,
And my health is a joke.
i am so fucking sorry.
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[Monday
June 28th, 2004
12:23am] |
I see your picture,
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
it's way too hard to fall asleep without your voice fresh in my mind. i am so in love with you.
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[Sunday
June 20th, 2004
4:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
skies so blue - the rocket summer. |
] |
and i'm sorry that it shows.
but life ain't so bad, you know?
now the sky's such a sweet blue,
you made this come true.
my heart feels so new.
whoa, whoa, whoa
i'll never leave us you know.
yeah, so things are even more chill.
now that it's summer and all.
well...not that we're only one day [really] into it.
weekends don't count.
work was lame but i'm out at 4 and that is sweet.
rob is done in t-minus 10 minutes. and that is sweet too.
i love how i'm still sitting here in my work clothes.
hehe.
these entries are all the same.
major ew.
rob is amazing.
laressa is f-ing hot.
i can't wait til we can all play.
haha, play. i act like i'm 6.
i wish i was 6.
that would be mad sweet.
alright, off to go on some adventures or something.
or maybe play need for speed underground.
werd.
viva love.
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[Thursday
June 3rd, 2004
4:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
underoath - reinventing your exit. |
] |
oh snap, things are chill...
nothing is new.
school is over in 10 days. weeeeeeeee, thank god.
i am so done with school! gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you love me.
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[Wednesday
May 19th, 2004
3:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hot |
] |
( let me get your sheets wet listening to keith sweat. )
school is almost over and i'm ready to get out. i want to be out now. seriously, this year was almost a complete waste of my time.
i'm ready to sleep in everyday.
hooray for working at cvs in 10 minutes. later...
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[Friday
April 30th, 2004
3:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
brazil - the iconoclast |
] |
things are good.
rewind that - things are great.
things feel perfect and the sky is such a beautiful blue today. i don't remember being able to smile every day over something simple. something so simple as sitting with him on the bus or holding his hand or even thinking about him.
thinking about him makes my stomach all butterflied.
crazy.
and it's barely been two weeks. but feelings haven't even begun to fade, which is what i am afraid of. i don't see it happening though.
in other news, got my ipod working. you know you care. actually, you should. now i can listen to cursive everyday on the busride to school. and alexisonfire, cause they're on there too. becoming more accustomed to them, not bad, not bad at all.
weeeeeeee.
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[Saturday
April 10th, 2004
12:59am] |
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| now i wonder how i was made... |
[Tuesday
April 6th, 2004
3:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
cursive |
] |
RULES:
1. Put your birth month in an entry.
2. Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you
3. Bold the four that best apply to you.
4. Put all twelve months under a livejournal cut
MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves (kinda likes)literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home.Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
( my salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance. )
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[Tuesday
March 30th, 2004
10:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
last train home - lost prophets |
] |
sing without reason to ever fall in love...
oh yes, in fact lostprophets, i plan on it.
mia has no prom date and probably no hope for one. every damn good boy is already taken, leaving none for mia's pickin's. grumble. what the hell? why do all the ugly girls get boys? and not super......wait, i'm getting way ahead of myself here.
meh, oh well. things are the way they are i guess.
it's just no fair that i get a boyfriend when i don't have time for one, but when i have all the time in the world i can't even get a boy to wrap around my finger. foohoobmagooooos.
ooh, must check explodingdog and homestarrunner.coms. [note to self]
i need the smell of summer, i need it's noises in my ears
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[Sunday
March 28th, 2004
10:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 geeky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tipsy - j kwon jont. holllllllllllllllerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. |
] |
bored. listening to gangster rap. you know. i've got nothing to do. at all. stupid autobiography needs to get done like asap. i'm gonna write like 5-7 pages a night, or heck i'll try to write it all in one day then edit then go. shabam. because, yes, i am that cool. you know, i like that my immortal song by evanescense. i admit it. that chick can sing. my car got sold! therefore no road trip to MI anytime soon. dammit dammit dammit. 13 hours in a car with brendan, and now it's all gone. curses. brendan said it might still happen. i want to marry him. well no. but yes. you know. these are the words that tear you apart.
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[Tuesday
March 23rd, 2004
6:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 predatory |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
co&ca - the velorium camper I : faint of heart |
] |
i am bored out of my bloody mind. the jr.flyers character/goalie boy/future prom date is a weirdo so i hear.
good news for me right?
i mean, the weirder he is, the more of a shot i have.
i guess.
i really like that maps song. yeah yeah yeahs. good stuff. curses you and your excellent musical tastes. i feel so inferior.
pssa's rule because : we get fed, we only have 1st and 8th periods, those tests are damn easy.
i rule because :.....__________________________
sure.
my lj is definately not cute. not pretty at all.
i have an interview at cvs tomorrow. holler for 2 jobs.
boo for little ants crawling near my keyboard.
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| oh doctor doctor, can you fix me? |
[Tuesday
March 16th, 2004
9:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
clean |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
lament of pretty baby. |
] |
i find it kind of funny that one of the lyrics in this song is 'the moon has raped me'.
maybe i shouldn't find that funny.
you are strong and i am weak.
ain't it the truth.
so anyways, it freaking snowed all day today. snowed and rained that is. isn't it like 4 days until spring? yeah, that's what i thought. ::shakes fist at mother nature:: someday i'll get you....
brazil is pretty good. i'm excited to see them with coheed. mmmmm. coheeeeeeeed.
( ..delerium trigger... )
yep, i've had that song stuck in my head for god knows how long.
erm...nothing going on. (took me long enough to type a pointless entry and finally get to the point.)
advice: errrybody in da club get tipsy.
you won't regret it. represent.
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[Monday
March 15th, 2004
4:58pm] |
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Bold the ones you remember/did:
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Fraggle Rock - YES!!
G.I. Joe
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Secret World of Alex Mack
Nightmare Before Christmas
Welcome Freshman
Space Cases
Roundhouse
The Muppet Show
Muppet Babies
Eureka's Castle
Salute Your Shorts
Legends of the Hidden Temple
You Can't Do That On Television
G.U.T.S.
What Would You Do?
Double Dare
Rocko's Modern Life
All That
Ren and Stimpy
Clarissa Explains It All
The Torklesons
Pete and Pete
Stick Stickley Write to me, Stick Stickley, PO Box 963, NYC, NY State, 10108
Goodburger
Angry Beavers
Hey Arnold!
AAH! Real Monsters
Tiny Toons
Animaniacs
Pinky and the Brain
The Babysitter's Club
Underdog
Kablam!
Gullah Gullah Island
Richard Scarry
Dumbo's Circus
Ocean Girl
Mystery Files of Shelby Woo
Snick Snacks
Dunkaroos
SNICK
Koala Yummies
Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?
Nick Magazine
The Goonies
Ernest Movies
Radio Flyer
Disney Watchers
Adventures in Wonderland
Homeward Bound
The Adventures of Yellow Dog
Milo and Otis
Neverending Story
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
The Lion King
Labyrinth - yeah david bowie.
101 Dalmations
The Secret Garden
Pete's Dragon
Hocus Pocus
Secret of Roan Inish
Land Before Time
Dinosaurs
Fern Gully rules
Secret of NIMH
Gummi Bears
Care Bears
A Little Princess
Little Pony
Black Beauty
Rainbow Brite
Lady Lovely Locks
Candyland
Sorry!
Trouble
Don't Wake Daddy!
Mousetrap
Jenga
Don't Break the Ice
Hungry Hungry Hippos
Cooties
Tinker Toys
The castles that made tea sets
Sky Dancers
Polly Pocket (back when she was pocket-sized)
Hypercolor T-Shirts
Lite Brite
Scrunchies
Side Ponytails
Stirrup Pants
Jellies
Saddle Shoes
Barbies
Beanie Babies
Tamagotchies
Yo-Yos
duncans!!
Choose Your Own Adventure
Pogs HELL YEAH
Goosebumps
Magic Attic Club aka the not-cool-enough-to-be-american-girl dolls
American Girl
Island of the Blue Dolphin
Tuck Everlasting [before it was a movie]
Saved By The Bell
Full House
Step By Step
TGIF on ABC
Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Boy Meets World
Clueless
Mork and Mindy
Simpsons
Flipper
Eerie Indiana
Third Rock From The Sun
Tracey Ullman Show
Ghostwriter
Growing Pains
Family Ties
Titanic
Felix The Cat: The Movie
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Home Improvement
Tom and Huck
My Brother and Me
Kenan and Kel
Hanson (unfortunately)
Inspector Gadget
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Power Rangers
Hot Wheels
Creepy Crawlers
Easy Bake Oven
Flower Making Kits
Weinerville
Wild and Crazy Kids
Playdough McDonald's Sets
Animorphs
Rainbow Fish
If You Give A Mouse A Cookie
Bailey School Kids
Wayside School
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle
Boxcar Kids
Ramona Quimby
Amber Brown
Roald Dahl
Allegra's Window
3-2-1 Contact
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[Wednesday
March 10th, 2004
7:32am] |
mmhmm. that's what i thought. it's better then when i put in 'mia'. ::wonders what happens if i put in 'Angela', then thinks that i don't really care::
it's early in the morning. there's a weird song on the morning announcements. ::find out it's dave matthews band::. we got the graphics machine back, so now we can do birthdays and credits again. exciting for me so i can see my birthday on the tv and see what song's playing in the morning. being as you aren't here and i can't ask you.
do you know how much that sucks?
and i'm cool and can write this directly to you and you'll know because you're the only one that reads this. so it's like letters to laressa.
i'm writing again, these letters to you, aren't much i know....
aw, finch lyric usage. don't hurt me.
i freaking can't wait until coheed. gah its going to be amazing. i want to go to warped tour too, thursday's playing.
weeeee. i rock.
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[Friday
February 27th, 2004
11:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
coheed and cambria : 2113 |
] |
yep, nothing to do. at all. no one's online. except for grayson. but we're having a mighty boring conversation. gah, i've moved on with him. i guess. i mean, i'm done with the feelings. i don't even care if we're friends, he's not anything spectacular, i hate to tell you.
i have this thing for amazingly shy guys. i mean brendan barely talks. he talks to me - so i guess that's ok. but yes yes, i know, i have to talk to him. but it's not like with grayson and how i had to break the ice with him and go out of my way to talk to him. i've already talked to brendan tons of times. that should make something easier right? but no, i'm still a complete loser and i can barely IM anyone online.
shut up mia, no wonder you don't have any friends.
whatever, i've got a dog. man's best friend right? she doesn't talk, or complain, she likes to play and she loves to sleep. roxie's my homegirl. i think i like her more than anyone around here.
spanish class was the shit today. we played spanish hangman. brendan mchugh and jim barbeau are freaking hilarious. i don't think i've ever laughed that hard. oh man, screw the easter seals shootout, i'm glad i stayed in spanish.
i am so freaking paranoid about the sats. and college. and not knowing what i want to do. i'm freaking scared. i have no idea what i want to study or major in. i like doing so many different things i can't even begin to decide. and i haven't found one damn thing that i'm really good at that i love doing. i'm good at math. i like money. i like making videos in video production but i'm really bad at coming up with good ideas. i like sports, but i'm bad at memorizing things - therefore i could never know every muscle and bone and ligament and whateverthehellelseisinthere in the body. i can barely keep hamstrings and quadriceps straight. i like office supplies, but i wouldn't want to be anyone's secretary. i'm bad with calling people on the phone. i think public relations would be kind of interesting, but i think i want to work with money...or something....
hell, what do i know?
it's late but i'm wide awake. i wish laressa was online so i could talk to her. cuz i'm desperately trying to keep a conversation going with grayson, but he can barely type, and after a while it just gets annoying. i don't think he's good with english or something, his grammar's all kinds of whacked out. i'm such a freaking loser for getting annoyed with someone over the way they type. is that bad? great, now i feel bad.
it's really not fair to be told you're pretty and crap like that, but then not be talked to or acknowledged with friends or anyone for that matter. i'm so sick of caring...but i don't really care? i have no idea. things like that upset me for a little bit, but i don't go out of my way to change it. basically i don't want to change it. maybe? grumble.
( epiphany = i'm screwed. ) oy, i have no idea what to do. i think i need a psychiatrist. i just want to go to sleep. i'm so sorry if you actually read all this. being as you're the only one that would...
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[Sunday
February 22nd, 2004
8:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
q and not u - soft pyramids |
] |
i'm watching the simpsons. it's funny stuff. lisa simpson is now goth. ahahahahahahahahha. ravencrow neversmiles. and a cheerleader. oh man....this stuff's good.
i've been looking at college stuff all day. exciting, maybe. nerve-wrecking, yes. college is scary to think about. bahhhhh. no good.
( smile, i've got french's. well i wish. )
can't say i look bad right after hockey. heh. actually, yes i can.
i think i'm chopping all of my hair off. well not all, but i want it short. and cute. and stuff.
ok, shutting up now.
X <3
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chasing_void's journal
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